No One Can Know

Well I kind of have a lot to say, but not a lot of time to write it.  Everything's just crazy right now, the thing with Noah.  Like, we've been talking on msn a lot, and we email each other, but we've also been hanging out.  He came over on Friday, and Sunday (last night).  Last night was the good time, cause we just talked and talked and we got to know each other a lot better.  Then last night on msn, another good talk.  We both told each other that we like each other.  And then we kind of just made a plan as to what we're gonna do about it, since no one can know about it.  I mean, we're just friends, and just want to be better friends, before we think of anything more than that.  Well I have to go to school so I'll write more later!

That's Like Bad Bad

Geez I am so mad.  I always like guys that I can't have.  Why does that always happen.  The person I'm referring to right now is Noah.  I really like him and stuff but nothing can/will ever happen with him because him and Chloe just broke up.  And that's like bad bad, you don't go for your friends ex boyfriend.  So, once again, another one bites the dust.  Allie told me that it seemed like he liked me last night, yikes.  

Yesterday me, Allie and Cammie hung out.  We did our usual "drive around town" thing.  It was a lot of fun.  A lot of stuff happened.  We met these guys from Detroit and they told us to come to a party with them later on and stuff.  We didn't go, but still, that was cool that we got to talk to them and stuff.  We went to the skate park and like everyone was there.  Noah came over to talk to us and he got in the car (backseat with me) and we talked to him for a while.  Then him and Myles sent Cammie off to get them pops, so me and Allie stayed at the skate park.  We just went over and sat on the box with Noah and all the rest of the guys.  Cammie was gone for a really long time and it was starting to get cold so Noah gave me his shirt.  Aw how nice.  Well by the time Cammie came back, a cop came and made everyone leave the park even though it wasn't dark yet.  So we gave Noah, Jeremy and Tyson a ride home (to Noah and Tyson's house). 

We ended up staying at Noah's house for a while.  We were in his and Tyson's room playing strip Foosball, but before anyone took off any clothes, we kind of got bored of it anyway.  Well since Jeremy forgot his CD at the skate park, me, Allie and Cammie went back to look for it.  It wasn't there, so we figured one of the other guys must have taken it, so we went to Myles' house.  Sure enough, he had it.  So we got the CD and got in the car and as we were backing out, Myles ran up and sat on the front of the car. So, we just kept driving, and we drove around the block and back to his house.  When we were leaving, there was this whole group of people just like hanging around sitting in the back of a truck and standing around it (Myles' neighbors) and as we were driving by them one of them mooned us!  It was so funny.   We were laughing about it all the way back to Noah's house.

Oh, the punk show on Friday was really cool.  Anchor War Machine was my favorite band there.  They were really good.  And cute too!  hehe.  Well, I'm gonna go now (have "chores" to do...woohoo).

We Were Like Freakin Out

Holy shit woa guess what happened, like 2 hours ago?  Ok, I was talking to Rowan earlier on msn, and we started talking about dances and stuff and he was talking about seeing me and my friends at dances and he's like, I should have a dance at my house!  And then I was tellin him about my party and then I was like, hey I should have one right now cause no one's home!  And he's like yeah I should come over and you call a couple of your friends and we can have our own dance.  And yea yeah he's just saying that right?  Of course.  So I added Julia to the convo and he's like Madison tell her the plan.  So I told her and she said she can't cause her mom won't let her go anywhere today.  So then he's like, well then how about just you and me Madison?  And I knew he wasn't being serious so I'm like yea sounds fun.  And he's like ok tell me where your house is and I'll be there in 10 minutes.  And in a separate convo box, me and Julia are like :O yikes!  Then he's just like, ok I'm on my way, bye!  

So then me and Julia were talkin, we were like freakin out.   So we got offline and she called me and we were just talking and I was saying, oh, he's not really gonna come over.  Him at my house, no way.  But then he pulls in the driveway!  And I'm like, shit!  So I let him in and I was still on the phone with Julia so she's just like, well I'm gonna go! Bye! and she hangs up leaving me alone with him!  

So we just talked for a while then went into the computer room and he was looking at Napster and then we went into the living room.  He went out to his car and got one of his CD's.  Well I put it in and he's like, ok dance.  And I'm like, I will if you will, and he's like well okay.  So we danced.  Then it was like about 7 and he had to go home.  And he gave me a hug before he left, I was like awww.  Then right away I went to the computer and got online to tell Julia what happened.  That was crazy.  I still can't believe it.  I mean, the only reason it is so crazy is because it was him!  But anyway enough about that!!!  

Well now about Corey.  Me and Allie hung out with him on Friday.  It was fun and I thought he seemed to have fun too.  I emailed him that night, but, he never emailed me back.  But the proof is that he's emailed Julia like every day this weekend, that's the proof he doesn't like me.  So, I'm giving up on him.  He doesn't want me, ok, fine then, he can't have me.  His loss.

The Mean Things I Say

Hey it's Thursday, we have Friday and Monday off cause it's Easter on Sunday.  Know what, I'm getting annoyed a lot by people lately.  I think it's just because I'm developing more of a sense of opinion.  It's just that now, I have opinions and I state them instead of only thinking them.  Not only that, I mean I don't say everything, but still, now I notice people that are "shallow" or have pointless thoughts.  Like for instance.  Like Allie always likes guys just because they're cute and she makes such a big deal of it like "Oh I know Cameron doesn't like me", but hello!  He doesn't even know you!  He knows you a little cause you just started talking on msn, but you've never even met in person!  And today I emailed this girl (the pacifier girl) telling her that it's weird and asking what the hell the fucking pacifier is for.  So, yeah, I think I need to work on that.  On my mean thoughts.  Maybe I need counseling or something.  Just so I can talk to someone who won't tell anyone the mean things I say.  I'm not always mean, I just got this way all the sudden.  I don't know what's wrong.  Maybe I need an "Anger Management Class" lol.  Tara's mom made her go to that, I can see why though.  She actually thinks like me at times, but she's a freak so that kind of contradicts because the freaky people are the ones that get on my nerves the most.  Okay I'm going to not write or say anything else mean about anyone.  Then soon maybe I'll even stop thinking it.

"Positive Attitude" Thing

Well that whole "positive attitude" thing works!  Oh guess who has been calling me every night for the past 3 nights?  Corey!  Late..... Got 2 Go!

I Was Like - Why Are We Going to Church

Hey, it's the LAST day of Spring Break.  :(  We're in the car right now.  We're in Southborough, we came down here to go summer shopping.  I got 6 tanktops, 3 pairs of shorts, and 3 pairs of shoes.  2 of the pairs of shoes are from American Eagle and I love them!  I also got a pair of shorts from there.  I tried on a bathing suit there and it was really cute (+ reversible!) but it was a little too expensive.  Oh well, there's one (not as good) in the JC Pennys that I like, back home.  Oh yeah I also got some stuff for practice :) cause I AM gonna try out for Poms again!  I'm excited for it to start back up.  I wonder how big the team will be this time, and I wonder who will be on it.  We found a CD in the hotel, it is a burned CD so we didn't know what songs are on it.  Well I took it (why not) and popped it in my CD player when we got in the car.  It's Disco music!!  It's funny.  And we got a free CD from American Eagle for spending over $75.  It's weird but cool, it's like some kind of techno/dance stuff.  

So, um...what did I do this week?  Monday and Tuesday I went to Lakeside with Chloe and her mom.  We were gonna get pierced, but I spent my money on clothes instead.  We saw Audra there, and Cammie and Kelly.  When we were in American Eagle we saw some guy staring at us.  It was Rowan, Allan and Paul (from school).  Also I saw Jesse and some kid when I was at our mall, I saw him and he said that he saw me there and started talkin to me and stuff.  Wednesday I went to Allie's and we went bowling with Trey and Dave.  It was really fun.  We just hung out with them all day.  We went to Arbys and the mall and K-Mart then we went back to Allie's house.  Trey and Doug went home and Audra came and picked me and Allie up to go to Claire's house.  Justin was there, Claire said they've been together like all week, so maybe that means I have a chance with Patrick.  Maybe.  Oh, Cammie and Ben are going out now.  And Myles and Lori are going out too.  I say good for them cause I'm done with Freshman.  Right!

So on Thursday, Julia came over and she spent the night.  We called Joey just cause we were bored, and we talked to him for awhile, then him and Josh started fighting for the phone and Josh won I guess cause then we talked to Josh for a while.  Then Corey called and we talked to him for three hours!  The next day, Joey called me.  I was like, "What why is he calling me?" but we talked for a while till I had to go.  It's kind of weird talking to him, cause I haven't in a long time.  Like it's also weird cause it doesn't even seem like we went out, know what I mean.  He's sort of a nice guy I guess.  He'd be ten time better if he didn't lie about everything.  He makes up stories just to have something to say.  That's annoying, and I can usually tell when he's doing it so I just ignore it pretty much.  I'd hang out with him though.

Know who was fun to hang out with was Trey and Dave.  That was cool.  Me and Allie were just goofing around acting like our normal selves and the boys would just start laughing.

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Hey we just went to a place where they serve a 7 course meal!  Woah!  It was really good, but it was A LOT of food!  It was a lot of fun.  We went to church this morning.  I didn't want to go.  I was like - why are we going to church.  But it was so cool!  I would go there every Sunday if we had one in our town.  I'm serious, it's the coolest church it doesn't even compare to any regular church.  It's hard to even describe the experience, but that's okay because I know I'll remember it.  **Editors Note: I don't, really.**  I learned from it too, I think it really changed my way of thinking; to some extent at least.  I'm not going to think negative thoughts about myself anymore, or think that my life is bad and crappy anymore.  Because if I change my attitude about my life it will change my life.  It's true.  This brings me back to when I was talking about Brennan's band concert and how I just have to give things a chance.  I think I've learned my lesson by now.

We went to the Burlington Coat Factory and I got some more clothes.  I got 2 more shorts, 5 more tank tops, and a bathing suit.  Oh and a pair of jeans cause all of mine are getting too small.  Now we are just driving home.  No more stopping.  It's 6:30 so we'll probably get home at like 9:30.  I'll have to unpack, take a shower, and then do my Chemistry homework!  Oh no!!  I knew I should have done it over the week, but I didn't really even have that much time.  Oh well, I'll just be up a little late.  Oh yeah, last night was the time switch thing, Daylight Savings Time.  So we went an hour ahead.  Damn that sucks that means lose an hour.  Ok my hand is gettin tired, I'm gonna sleep for awhile...

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Hey!  I slept the whole way home!  And I didn't have time to write last night.  I'm just getting ready for school right now.  I'm going to keep a positive attitude and stuff today, and see how good I can make my day.  Even if it sucks cause I have tons of crap work to do.  I can make today fun!  I will....